7 Things To Do Next Pregnancy

• Drink water - the amount of water I drank before Baby compared to after baby was like a desert and a water fountain. So really I want to keep well hydrated as I think this will help my skin a lot during pregnancy. I have an issue with getting mildly dehydrated so that mixed with a toddler is not a situation to be in!

• Eat healthier & more regularly - I find it harder to eat regularly and healthily as I'm such a fussy eater. I also find it harder to eat more regularly as I'm so focused on doing everything else and then when I do eat Baby wants some too! I will have to get used to that and learn how to balance...eventually!

• Be active - I regret not doing this when I was pregnant, I think if I was a lot more active in walking and in general light exercise I wouldn't have felt lazy in later months as well as the extra flexibility wouldn't have hurt either! 

• Be more forward with my midwife about things I want to discuss - My personality is such that I am not an open book when it comes to meeting people for the first time, or the second time - it takes me a while. It also made a difference that I didn't like my midwife. 

She wasn't interested in hearing me speak even though she commented on many occasions about me not speaking very much at all. She didn't want to talk to me about a birth plan and got her trainee to have the most briefest of talks with me. I just didn't feel comfortable at all and the times I did talk to her I was cut off repeatedly.
I think I would ask for a different midwife, or else be more firm in what I wanted to talk about and make sure I get my point across.

• Have a holiday with just my husband - I definitely think we need as much 'us' time as we can soak up before getting on with it being a family of 4! We need non-stressful time together to focus on just us and not what we need to do, not what we have to do, not what we're supposed to do.  

• Spend as much time possible with Baby & Me - I will definitely miss it being just me & Babe. I will miss spending all our time together by ourselves. I will miss the new things that she does and the fact that I can pick it up so fast because there are barely any distractions. I will miss her.
• Similar to above, spend too much time with my mum, dad, sister & cousins while I could!

These are just some of the things that I'd like to be different for the next time. I think it's important to learn from my past experience and try to make some goals for the next one. Things can always be better if you allow them to be.


What is one thing you would change about your last pregnancy?

The Muslim Woman's Hospital Bag

I remember researching for hospital bag lists and watching countless YouTube videos to make sure I was all ready and prepared - making myself (and my mother, my husband, my grandmother, my village clan...) feel better.
But I also remember, very clearly, not ever coming across any list that would cater for the Muslim woman who covers herself from head-to-toe and what extra things she would need.
So I've decided to list the things I took with me.

The usuals that I took with me:

• Notes!!!!!!!!!!!!! 
• 2 toothbrushes & toothpaste (I took toothpaste with me, I remember packing it and when I'm looking for it completely disappeared!?!! I put an extra toothbrush for hubs!)
• Deodorant, soap, moisturiser, Tresseme shampoo & conditioner, hairbrush, lip balm, (nothing beats the shower in your own home though!)
• A gown & towel - for after the shower. 
• Backless, comfortable slippers - these were sooo comfortable and I went home in these too.
• Hair scrunchies
• Socks, underwear & nursing bra
• Nursing pads, Maternity pads & Nipple cream (I've also heard coconut oil works well as nipple cream and to moisturise baby's dry skin)
• Phone, phone charger & headphones
• Long, loose top (with buttons!) & pyjamas/leggings to give birth in & another pair, at least, for after birth.
• Cardigan - in case you get cold, of course
• Plastic bag for dirty clothes
• Little jug/water bottle - for bathroom purposes

Baby things:

•  Carseat & carseat newborn insert
• (16 for a 2 day stay) Nappies, nappy bags, 1 bag of cotton wool, little pot for water, vaseline/nappy rash cream
• 6 bodysuits & 6 babygros/sleepsuits
• 2 cellular blankets
• Baby jacket for home
• Baby socks - (these work as good mittens too)
• Bibs
• Going home outfit - I didn't put this on, because of the weather even though they were warm clothes.

The extras you want to think about:

• Long black pashmina (your scarf) - this can also serve as a breastfeeding cover & also if you just feel to cover in front of any visits you get in the hospital/whoevers barging into the room.
• Open-front (either with buttons or velcro) abayah (a full-sleeved floor length dress) - I used mine as a hospital gown and as an extra layer it kept me warm - especially with the thin blankets at the hospital!
• Overhead Hijaab (dress that is worn from head to toe) - wear this and a pashmina to go to and come back from the hospital!
• Niqaab (veil)  - this is if you wear it regularly and want to wear it to/from the hospital.
• Ka'bah compass - to find the direction so any one who visits can pray & if you are able to duringlabour/induction
• Mushaf - if you have the time during labour/induction/want to recite it to your newborn
• Zamzam water
• Dates - these are soooo good for you, your digestive system & also to practice the sunnah of tahneek

Things I didn't take that you may want to:

• Birthing ball
• Extra pillows
• Breastfeeding pillow
• V-shaped pillow
• Flip flops for shower
• Lip balm
• Hair dryer
• Money/coins
• Lotion
• Glasses
• TENS machine
• Big bag to put gifts in
• Gum
• Vests
• Make up
• Hand sanitizer
• Toilet roll
• Paracetomol/Ibuprofen
• Notebook & pen
• Facial wipes
• Tennis ball in a sock 
• Breast pump

Sunnah of things to do with labour/ a newborn:

• The Manners of Welcoming the Newborn Child in Islam
• Ruling on Aqeeqah (sacrifice) 
• Praying with labour signs 
• Natural Blood of Women Shaykh Uthaymeen Dr Saleh-as-saleh 
• Breastfeeding ones child
• Menses and Dhikr of Allaah & Recitation of the Quran 

eBay Eyeliners: Yay or Nay?

I recently purchased some eyeliners from eBay. I was just having a look at their selection/price range and because I'm on a tight budget (cheap cheap), but needed black eyeliner I decided to get 3. I tend to use pencil as this feels best on my skin. I need something that's going to come off pretty easily when I need it to, but doesn't smudge and make me look crazy when I need it to last!

1. KRAZY GIRL perfect eyeliner pencil in sparkly black

I must admit this is a really cute idea for eyeliner pencil - I definitely liked the idea of the sparkliness and the sharpener in the pencil lid. It's quite a tall pencil, so room for lots of use and when sharpened gave a nice line. The description says 'waterproof & longlasting'.

Unfortunately this wasn't as longlasting as it did smudge after about 4/5 hours but did stay on for about 6/7 hours. It's not waterproof as water did smudge it off once I had washed my face and makeup wipes had gotten rid of the rest. The sparkliness also couldn't be seen on the eyelid and was only visible on the actual pencil and as a swatch on my hand.

Not the best buy to be very honest - 5/10


2. KG Contour Ultra Black

A smaller pencil than the before described as khol eyeliner pencil. It claims it has 'intense colour in just 1 stroke and up to 16h wear'. A tall order for any eyeliner! It's a lovely pigmented black colour and is very smooth on the eye. This does smudge quite easily, however, but did last for 6 hours I wore it. It is not waterproof and does come off easier than the Krazy Girl eyeliner, but the pigment stayed for longer. Better than the previous eyeliner, but did not reach for my expectations of smudging so easily.

6/10


3. Avon always on point eyeliner.  

Avon's eyeliner that I accidentally got in the colour Emerald! I didn't realise when I bought it and got very confused when I saw it. This is a reflective eyeliner, made in Germany and has a sharpener in the lid so every time you use it has that cute little point as pictured above. It has the texture of a crayon matching Avon's Glimmersticks.

This is by far my most favourite out of 3 and has bumped into one of my favourite eyeliners. The application is smooth, and it is so much easier to get the 'perfect winged eyeliner' out of this than most other pencil eyeliners (and sometimes liquid!). This lasted for a total of 8/9 hours without smudging. It was the most 'waterproof' of all the eyeliners and can be removed easily with makeup wipes/oil, etc. I will say, however, that with certain eyeshadows the smudging then begins, but nowhere near as much as the other 2.

9/10


Overall, I would say these were as good as their price - which was cheap. I didn't set out to buy these thinking they would be very good - the best eyeliners you could ever find!!!!!! - I bought them because I'm cheap and I don't want to spend money.
I wasn't looking for especially longlasting - I was looking for part of the day/evening. For my wants and needs they're okay - in the case of the avon brand, very good.

I'm so basic when it comes to these things and I don't want to delve into the world of makeup (I'll never get back out of the hole otherwise). I'm good with the makeup I have and I look good in it. :)


What's your favourite makeup brands? Have you ever bought something for cheap and had been delightfully surprised by the results? What's the worst makeup you've bought?

5 Things All Women Want to do During Pregnancy

I always see blogs/vlogs about what mothers aspire to do during pregnancy that they never get round to doing as much as they would like. These few things are so recurrent that I've decided to do them again, because no one can get enough of it. Simple as.

1) Drink more water. 

clipart

Said every woman/person/alien ever.
If this is the case in normal every-day non-pregnant state of life then why don't you get started before pregnancy or, better yet, afterwards?

A quick google search will tell you the recommended amount is: eight 8 ounce glasses/2 litres/half a gallon. So if you divide this by 500ml bottles that's about 4 bottles in a day? Not bad - have one when you wake up (refreshing!), have one with lunch, have one after tea-time (you'll have peed so much you're tired of counting the trips to the bathroom) and have one with dinner. Sorted!

And if you're a breastfeeding mother you'll actually want to drink all of that. You will force yourself to as well while you cry about how much you miss coke. (I know it's not just me)


2) Keep Fit

I really tried this one (said no normal, average woman ever).

Everyone always want to keep in shape while pregnant, not gain too much weight, and prepare for the birth and after-birth. This does not go well, because we get lazy!

Pregnant women are lazy, hormonal and are dealing with bodily changes that they find disgusting. They want to cut some slack on themselves even though they did want all those benefits from exercising. It's just so hard right now. Let's try tomorrow morning instead?

Or let's say we do get round to doing it, and we feel pretty okay afterwards and a bit lighter and happier, and tired and in need of another shower, because wow sweating 3x more than I did pre-pregnancy. We all know it's only going to last a few days - a week or two MAX. There is no way we are going through the whole pregnancy doing squats and crunches up until the baby evacuates. We are too tired and too fat and too in need of ice cream.


3) Eat healthier

vegrecipesofindia.com

Okay this one is a bit more  doable if you don't mind or like veggies. There's tons of yummy recipes that you can make with that bursting-full-of-food fridge of yours.
The problem goes back to a recurrent feeling we've been having since this post began: laziness.

The idea is that you're never going to look after yourself more than anyone else, but the point being is that you are growing your child who is depending on YOU and no one else to feed them - therefore you should be offering them the best. Sometimes it's really easy to lapse and I can understand that, but you have the time to eat so, oh my days, get over yourself and your laziness! Get in the kitchen and pull up the recipe that sounds, looks and already tastes good without you making it already!!





4) Organise the house

I love organising the house when I'm pregnant. I want to do everything and clean everything and organise everything and the tidiness!! I want everything to be tidy! There's something so satisfying about everything being ready and put into its proper place. It's the safety of it, isn't it? The satisfaction of knowing that everything will be  fine and good and in its place when you really, really need it to be.

The problem is that it's not always possible to do the whole nesting phase - especially when you can't do the heavy lifting that needs to be done and time with your hubs is quite limited and, frankly, you don't want to spend it cleaning do you? You're getting ready for a baby - you want to do everything you can possibly do without the baby right this minute. Tidying up is not on the list.

Alternatively, you have too many kids and it's just not possible because they keep making a mess of everything they can get their hands on and, to be honest, they can climb now so there isn't anything they can't get. So you're screwed, really.

mumcloset.com

5) Answer back to all those invading questions in the most cheeky way possible

There's so many comebacks in our head that pop up whenever someone asks us those awful questions or give us awful advice about babies and kids in general. Please, I could write a novel about this, but that would mean this post gets too long.

In short, stop being so kind and polite to everyone - be tongue-on-cheek and be cheeky! Deliver that comeback with a smile on your face and walk off like you've always wanted to. Do it at least once in the sea of people you've passed off and ignored and then raged over later with your hubs over the phone.

Go on, you know you want to.

Life Update #1

Days like today are special because its a day where I can say that it was a really good one and at the end of the night I might not be feeling a 100% in body but I'm feeling it at mind and that's most important.

There's a lot of days more than I would like to admit that I dont feel good at all. I'm tired and cranky and I'm just not enjoying life. It's the kind of tired where I could have 10 years of sleep and I would still feel abssolutely awful still. It's a state of mind I don't always have control of, but today I'm putting it all behind me.

I feel great today. I missed my baby and I played with her and I had a good day with her and I was sad when it was bed time because I wanted to spend more time with her. These days dont come often and they're not always perfect. I could have been a lot more productive than I was and I wanted to be more productive but that's okay. I felt really good today it was a really good day in a sea of bad weeks.

Pregnancy Reactions

art by bg-light@deviantart

Telling my parents that I was pregnant was the most important thing to me. I remember getting so mad and upset over the fact that my husband didn't take me back home to tell them immediately.

I didn't even think of telling them in an elaborately thought out plan about how I was having their first grandchild, my husband's family's first grandchild from a son (a big deal in asian culture) and the first great-grandchild! I just desperately wanted to burst through their door and announce "I'M PREGNANT!!!!!"

So we eventually went over to my mum's house and sat chatting for a while before I broke it to her. I wanted to tell her by myself so I could just savour that moment (he ended up doing the same to his family too), so when he left momentarily I shrugged the test out of my sleeve and gave it to her.

The first thing that happened was that her eyes bugged out of her face and then said, "Is that what it's supposed to be?" She was very happy that the two lines meant exactly what she thought it meant.


Telling my father was a slightly different story as I was rushing to get my things together - I had dinner at the in-laws at the time he had come back from work. Just five minutes before I was leaving I ran up the stairs, shouting at him to stop, said hello and promptly gave him the pregnancy test. He propped up his glasses, had a good look, turned pink and shouted "OH MY GOD. OH MY GOD." 

Poor man didn't know where to look he was so embarrassed! He walked a few steps away from me and then turned back round and stood for a moment, "Congratulations, I guess!" It took a lot for me to not laugh at him, but time was also short and I gave him a hug and a kiss before shouting goodbye and running down the stairs and out the door.

image by polin@wordpress

My older cousin, someone who I regard as a sister, wasn't one of the first people to tell, but was one of the most meaningful. She lives about 6 hours away from me so unfortunately there weren't many ways I could tell her, and to be honest I didn't want anyone else to tell her and I didn't want to tell her in a way where she would be affronted by the fact that someone else in her family could find out that I told them before I told her. It wouldn't be kind - we've been through a lot. 

So I did the old fashioned and I phoned her and after a bit of our usual conversing about her uni life and how married life was going for me I said to her quite simply "I have something to tell you" to which she fervently replied "okay..." as she knew that the last time I had said this she had gotten the shock of her life that I was getting married. She again had the same speechless (literally so hard to get this chatterbox of a bubbly, wonderful, funny woman speechless) reaction when I had said "I'm pregnant".

There was silence on the other end of the phone and then she began gushing and on the verge of tears she was so amazingly emotional and happy for me. She was amazing and asked all the questions she possibly could off the top of her head.

Putting the phone down after one of her phone calls always leaves me happy and light and good and this wasn't any different.

I missed the pleasure of telling my grandparents, but from what I heard they were extremely excited, happy and a little shocked. Mum had told Nano, my grandmother, over the phone and she threw herself into a fit getting extremely excited and then couldn't keep the news to herself. At the time the hairdresser was coming over to do our hair and as she had just arrived Mum needed to get off the phone. She couldn't wait for baby and showered me with love, stories from Mum's childhood with her siblings and my grandfather, Nanaboo, showered me with food: food made by Nano, fresh fruit and asian desserts. 

This is best told in the messages we sent to each other:

I sent her a picture of my growing baby bump after the last text. She immediately called me afterwards and did her own gushing and brain freeze over the news of it all.

These are my most notable of pregnancy reactions apart from Husband's and Sister's which are in the post below. I love giving people good news and what's better news than "I'm getting married" and "I'm pregnant"?