To Mum

I often think about death and about you

I think how much you'll meet too soon

I don't want to think about it because you are too dear to me

I want you to stay with me forever please

You have done everything for me and I want you to know

That I will be forever grateful even if it doesn't show

I want to hug you tight and never let go

But you would get claustrophobic and shake me so

I hope like everyone says that time will fly

Because im getting upset without your goodnights

I miss you too much and hope you come back soon

I hope you're having a good time - don't forget to look for the moon!

I love you too much you are my best friend

But all of this is driving me right round the bend

This is getting off hand I should probably stop

But not before explaining that my heart is in a knot

There are too many mixed feelings when you left me today

I was too happy for you but I wanted you to stay

I hope you come back with Nür in your face

A happiness within you that other people would have to chase

I want you to have everything your heart desires

So I pray for you always that Jannah is where you retire

I will always ask that when you meet death soon

Allaah will only take you when He's most happiest with you

I hope you can understand that when you ask things twice

Its only because I think your voice is so nice!

I want only the best for you and sometimes that doesn't include me

But I hope one day you will be set free

I want you to know you are my very best friend

I love you so much I won't pretend

I'm really going now - and this is my final goodbye

I love you so much and that's never a lie.

Pregnancy Reactions

art by bg-light@deviantart

Telling my parents that I was pregnant was the most important thing to me. I remember getting so mad and upset over the fact that my husband didn't take me back home to tell them immediately.

I didn't even think of telling them in an elaborately thought out plan about how I was having their first grandchild, my husband's family's first grandchild from a son (a big deal in asian culture) and the first great-grandchild! I just desperately wanted to burst through their door and announce "I'M PREGNANT!!!!!"

So we eventually went over to my mum's house and sat chatting for a while before I broke it to her. I wanted to tell her by myself so I could just savour that moment (he ended up doing the same to his family too), so when he left momentarily I shrugged the test out of my sleeve and gave it to her.

The first thing that happened was that her eyes bugged out of her face and then said, "Is that what it's supposed to be?" She was very happy that the two lines meant exactly what she thought it meant.


Telling my father was a slightly different story as I was rushing to get my things together - I had dinner at the in-laws at the time he had come back from work. Just five minutes before I was leaving I ran up the stairs, shouting at him to stop, said hello and promptly gave him the pregnancy test. He propped up his glasses, had a good look, turned pink and shouted "OH MY GOD. OH MY GOD." 

Poor man didn't know where to look he was so embarrassed! He walked a few steps away from me and then turned back round and stood for a moment, "Congratulations, I guess!" It took a lot for me to not laugh at him, but time was also short and I gave him a hug and a kiss before shouting goodbye and running down the stairs and out the door.

image by polin@wordpress

My older cousin, someone who I regard as a sister, wasn't one of the first people to tell, but was one of the most meaningful. She lives about 6 hours away from me so unfortunately there weren't many ways I could tell her, and to be honest I didn't want anyone else to tell her and I didn't want to tell her in a way where she would be affronted by the fact that someone else in her family could find out that I told them before I told her. It wouldn't be kind - we've been through a lot. 

So I did the old fashioned and I phoned her and after a bit of our usual conversing about her uni life and how married life was going for me I said to her quite simply "I have something to tell you" to which she fervently replied "okay..." as she knew that the last time I had said this she had gotten the shock of her life that I was getting married. She again had the same speechless (literally so hard to get this chatterbox of a bubbly, wonderful, funny woman speechless) reaction when I had said "I'm pregnant".

There was silence on the other end of the phone and then she began gushing and on the verge of tears she was so amazingly emotional and happy for me. She was amazing and asked all the questions she possibly could off the top of her head.

Putting the phone down after one of her phone calls always leaves me happy and light and good and this wasn't any different.

I missed the pleasure of telling my grandparents, but from what I heard they were extremely excited, happy and a little shocked. Mum had told Nano, my grandmother, over the phone and she threw herself into a fit getting extremely excited and then couldn't keep the news to herself. At the time the hairdresser was coming over to do our hair and as she had just arrived Mum needed to get off the phone. She couldn't wait for baby and showered me with love, stories from Mum's childhood with her siblings and my grandfather, Nanaboo, showered me with food: food made by Nano, fresh fruit and asian desserts. 

This is best told in the messages we sent to each other:

I sent her a picture of my growing baby bump after the last text. She immediately called me afterwards and did her own gushing and brain freeze over the news of it all.

These are my most notable of pregnancy reactions apart from Husband's and Sister's which are in the post below. I love giving people good news and what's better news than "I'm getting married" and "I'm pregnant"?